Amélie Rossignol, RTC
Parenting can be tough in the easiest of circumstances. When your child has high needs, parenting can become highly challenging.
Do you experience any of these?
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Compassion fatigue or burnout
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Struggling with professionals who give advice that doesn't work for you and your child
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Feeling like other parents don't understand what you experience
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Loss of your own identity as you focus primarily on your child
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Conflict with a partner or other family members around parenting style
As a parent of a high needs child, you are always looking out for your child, and now it's time to get some support for yourself so you can keep walking your important journey!
High needs children, sometimes called spirited children, are children that are more sensitive and/or intense. The term describes the behaviour and needs of the child, but is not a diagnostic term. A child may be high needs due to basic temperament, or some sort of physical or mental difference or disability. Some high needs children are neurodivergent and may be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Tourette's Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Dyslexia, or a number of other conditions. Other high needs children are highly sensitive children, and some have no identifiable label at all.
Common Challenges of Parents with High Needs Children
When Parenting Doesn't Go The Way You Expected
Parents of high needs children often have to work harder to raise their children safely and healthily. While the needs of the individual children vary greatly, these parents often experience some of the following struggles.
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Learning about the child's unique challenges - All parenting requires learning, but with high needs children there is an extra level of learning required. We learn about out child's diagnosis (or diagnoses), how to navigate the healthcare and mental health care systems, and different parenting models and strategies that work for our child.
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Overcoming our beliefs - Our culture(s) and family(ies) all have beliefs on the "right way" to raise children. We grow up surrounded by messages about children and parenting. Sometimes, our high needs children come into conflict with these beliefs, and we have to decide whether to change our children or change our beliefs.
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Facing judgment and conflict - If our children or our parenting style do not fit the mold, we may face judgment from friends, family, experts, the general public, or even our parenting partners. This can be extremely triggering and challenging, and can create conflicts and ruptures in important relationships.
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Loss of identity - Being a high needs parent can become all-consuming. Some parents have to give up their jobs, hobbies, and relationships to focus on the needs of the child. This can quickly lead to burnout and feelings of hopelessness.
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Being the parent of a high needs child can be a long and difficult journey. Parents' own issues with neurodivergence or health issues can compound the challenges of parenting. However, the journey can also often lead to new insights into one's own beliefs, patterns and needs. Parenting can lead to growth, healing and new possibilites!
Counselling and the Parents of High Needs Children
Time and Space for the Parent Who Gives Everything to their Child
There are many times when the parent of a high needs child needs to focus completely on that child's needs. And then there are times where it can be helpful for that parent to focus on themselves, in order to once again be able to focus on the child's needs. At Inner Haven Counselling, we give you the space, understanding and support to find yourself and what you need to be able to meet your parenting goals.
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Registered Therapeutic Counsellor Amélie Rossignol is a parent to two high needs children, with diagnoses including Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with a Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) profile, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Anxiety, and learning disabilities. She was a full-time stay-at-home mother for 12 years, and has knowledge of many alternative parenting and schooling models (such as Low Demand Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Waldorf, Unschooling, etc.).
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Though we can help you learn and find resources to support the style of parenting you wish to use, the purpose of this counselling is not to teach you any particular style of parenting. Rather we would explore your beliefs, fears, and other thoughts and emotions about parenting so that you are in the best condition to make your own decisions about how to be a good parent. Amélie creates a calm, safe and peaceful space in which to explore your experience with parenting, and your relationships with your children.
Book a free 20-minute consultation session to start your journey toward peace and wellness!